A Dark Knight in Shining Armor

SPOILER ALERT: If you've never seen The Dark Knight and don't want to know major plot points, read no further. Thank you from The Management.

Batman romance plots are hard to do, because the premise of Bruce Wayne's alter ego is that it's a secret. No one know who he is, and he likes it that way. More to the point, he sticks with it, never wavering, never taking a risk and cluing anyone in. So it's hard to imagine someone getting close enough to form a legitimate relationship with.

But as ever Hollywood couldn't resist insinuating a romance subplot into the newest Batman films. First it was Katie Holmes, portraying a mildly bi-polar Rachael Dawes, then Maggie Gyllenhaal revised the character to be more stable, but less decisive. Vacillating between Bruce and her new boss Harvey Dent throughout, we're treated to an extra helping of drama as Batman tries to give up the suit, something that's really more in Spider-man's jurisdiction, genre-wise.

Now normally, I'm okay with a little relationship drama in my action film, but after several viewings of both movies I've come to the realization that each flawed romantic boondoggle detracts from the overall story and message. It does a good job of keeping our minds off the Joker's plot in "Dark Knight", which makes each development really exciting, and it gives a sort of rationalization to Harvey when he goes be-gibbers at the end, but besides those glimmers of purpose, Bruce never makes a move, Rachael never commits to anyone (at least until she dies), and the audience is left with the vaguely unsettling idea that Batman is the proverbial dick in the latter love-triangle. At no time is the audience aware of real reasons either of them should be together. In "Begins", she's as violently emotionally unstable as someone coming off cocaine, and in "Dark Knight" she waffles like a politician in a stiff breeze. It's never explicitly stated what attracts the two, but it's generally assumed that a combination of childhood experiences, a love of Gotham, and an obsession with winged mammals is the catalyst for this 'Love of the Ages'.

I'm a big Batman enthusiast, so when characters like Zsazz show up in cameos, and Harvey Dent's double-sided coin preempted his official involvement in the films, I get a giddy feeling in my toes and lower shins. And then I get to the movie, eat half a pound of popcorn, and wait for the projector to reflect the seedy underbelly of Gotham across 20-odd feet of glorious silver screen, and I think to myself, "I hope they stay true to the characters, I hope they let Two-Face get a couple good lines, I hope the Joker doesn't come off as some super-human bumbler." Not once does Rachael Dawes, or any other female character cross my mind as an important part of the Batman Universe. Oh wait, the new movie has Catwoman...

Strike that, I'm fine.
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